


Any Regrets?

by KaiKoizumi



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alley Sex, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crying, Dubious Consent, He's also in denial, M/M, Original Character(s), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Semi-Public Sex, Shizaya - Freeform, Shizuo's a little possesive, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, somewhat innocent vending machines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:05:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9157363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiKoizumi/pseuds/KaiKoizumi
Summary: Weird stuff happens in Ikebukuro all the time, right? So a vending machine turning into a human isn't that weird, right? And that means it's okay to be doing this with Izaya, right?---This is crack written in a really serious manner.





	

It was an embarrassing situation, to say the least. Orihara Izaya was standing in front of one of the many broken vending machines littered about Ikebukuro, pants unzipped and face red as a cherry. Well, it used to be a vending machine. The raven-haired male wasn't sure he should call it that anymore.

The once machine now human was standing in front of him, smirking. “What's the matter, Orihara-san?” he strolled up to him, tilting the informant's chin up slightly. “Are you flustered now that you know I could see you this entire time?”

Izaya just couldn't quite wrap his head around what he was seeing. The humanoid had soft, fluffy white hair that shimmered with different colors ranging from pink to green in the sunlight. His eyes were an aqua-green; they had an almost florescent glow to them. He adorned a white zip-up sweat shirt with a wide, aqua-green bar going across his chest that matched his eyes. Rolled up white shorts covered his thighs, a black belt with a silver buckle holding them up. A black V-neck covered his torso under the jacket.

“Or, are you embarrassed about this?” the white-haired male grasped Izaya's hard lower region. His smirk deepened when he elicited a small gasp from the shorter male. “Maybe both?”

“Sh-shut up.” Izaya said. He tried to take a step back, finding that the humanoid had cornered him against the wall. When that didn't work, he went for his switchblade.

The taller male pinned Izaya's hands to the wall, removing both his own hands from Izaya's face and groin. “That's no good, Orihara-san,” he whispered into his ear. “How am I supposed to help you if you cut me open?” he dragged his tongue up Izaya's neck, sending tingles up his spine.

He dug his knee into Izaya's hard on. “I almost pity you. That 'Shizu-chan' you're always going on about obviously isn't doing his job if you have to jerk off in some dirty alley,” he paused, taking in Izaya's impossibly red face. “You can call me Vee, but... why don't you let me be your Shizu-chan for today?” he moved his lips to Izaya's, bringing them together for a kiss.

A frustrated growl came from Izaya as Vee's tongue entered his mouth. He jerked his hands, unable to move them. Moving his legs proved difficult with a knee in between them, lifting him up a little bit. He was immobile and there was nothing he could do about it.

The raven let out a gasp as Vee moved his knee up and down at an angle, grinding Izaya's crotch. At some point Vee had gone from using two hands to one to hold Izaya's in place. Vee broke away from their kiss to let the smaller male get some air. In no way did he let up on grinding Izaya's lower region.

He finally put his leg down, replacing it with his free hand. He stroked Izaya's length slowly. When he reached the head, he used his thumb nail to press down on the slit. The informant bucked his hips forward. A strangled cry escaped his throat. Tears pricked dark umber eyes.

Just as a sob was escaping, the former vending machine locked mouths with him again. Izaya squeezed his eyes shut and let the tears fall. He could feel his muscles tensing up and heat rising in his stomach as the Vee picked up his pace. Izaya struggled against the hands pinning him to the wall.

The hand left his groin at the same time Vee's mouth left his. Izaya moaned at the lack of touch. As much as he hated the thought of having sex with a stranger, he wanted to reach climax. Opening his eyes he saw Vee looking to the right, smiling. Izaya followed his gaze.

At the end of the alley stood Heiwajima Shizuo, staring at the pair. His cigarette fell out of his mouth, forgotten. Izaya had been no where in sight when he caught his sent. Walking by the alley he started hearing him. Looking down the somewhat hidden passage, this was the last scene he expected to see.

“Shi-shizu-chan,” Izaya whimpered.

New tears formed in Izaya's eyes. This had to be a nightmare. He was being sexually tormented in a random alleyway _by a vending machine_ and the man he was in love with _happened to walk by that exact alley._ He quickly looked at the ground to avoid Shizuo's gaze. He tugged at his hands. It was a futile attempt to break free.

Perhaps it was the fact Izaya was involved that brought out his rage. Perhaps it was the way Izaya had looked at him just now, genuinely upset and almost scared. Perhaps it was the morale of the situation taking place in front of him. Regardless of the reason, Shizuo found himself walking up to the stranger in front of Izaya and bringing his fist across the guy's face.

Izaya stood in shock as Shizuo brushed past him toward the body on the ground. Whipping his head to the left, he saw Shizuo grab Vee's collar and lift him up. Now would be the perfect time to leave. Izaya knew it would be his best chance to get away before Vee or Shizuo noticed him again, but he couldn't. Being an informant, he was too curious to find out what would happen next.

Vee made a grunting noise as Shizuo picked him up. “What's wrong?” his voice was full of malice, “Angry I was helping your boyfriend where you can't?”

Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows, frowning. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Vee laughed bitterly. “Do I have to spell it out for you? You refuse to have sex with Orihara-san so often that he's back here practically every week jerking off and moaning your name. Why he does it here is beyond me, really, though I have a few guesses.”

A slight blush formed on Shizuo's cheeks as he processed what Vee was saying. The words made him a little flustered, but they still pissed him off.

“Why would I be dating that flea?” Shizuo yelled. He paused for a brief second. “and, wait, Izaya was- what?” the blond looked over at the raven he had nearly forgotten about.

It was then Izaya decided to turn away and zip his pants back up, face still red. He debated escaping then. For once in his life, he wasn't sure how to respond to Shizuo.

“You could always help me. After all, it's you he wants, not me,” he could barely make out Vee's voice trying to convince the blond. “Unless you want me to have him all to myself. I have no qualms with that.”

Izaya's first instinct was to run, and he started to move, but the thoughts that whirled through his head stopped him. He liked Shizuo. This might be the only chance he got, the only chance when Shizuo's anger wasn't directed at him. He could confront him about his feelings later, after he forgot all this ever happened. Part of him knew neither of them would forget this, and the raven wasn't sure he would have the nerve to even approach Shizuo after this incident.

He didn't run. He might regret it later. The unpredictable unknown was rather appealing to Izaya, despite it being one of the things he claimed to hate about Shizuo. Shizuo almost always did the unexpected and it irritated Izaya to no end, but that was the precise reason he liked to watch the other man so often.

His train of thought broke when someone grabbed his arm and yanked him around. There was a pair of lips connected to his and it took him a moment to realize it was Shizuo. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, only half believing that this was real. If this strange event was going to unfold, Izaya was going to take full advantage of it.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya breathed, pulling away from the other, a thin line of spit stretching and breaking between them.

He got down on his knees in front of Shizuo. Izaya fiddled with Shizuo's belt buckle. He pulled down the zipper and took out Shizuo's hard length, smirking up at him before taking it in his mouth. He could hear Shizuo gasp slightly, probably not used to the feeling of another person touching him. Izaya smiled at that. He was the only one who would ever touch Shizuo like this, if the situation progressed into something more, that is. Would this progress into something more or would they go back to chasing each other and forget this ever happened? Izaya furrowed his eyebrows at his line of thought. He figuratively shook his head, deciding to focus on the task at hand.

Izaya took the entire length in his mouth before pulling back, dragging his tongue along Shizuo's cock. He opened his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. Glancing up at Shizuo, he closed around him again, bobbing up and down the length. The blond had his eyes closed, reveling in the feeling of Izaya's warm mouth. As he closed his eyes, Izaya could feel Shizuo snaking a hand into his hair, grasping it a little too hard. This caused Izaya to moan, sending a soft vibration through Shizuo's dick.

Izaya felt someone's hands on his zipper along with a body leaning on his back. In his momentary confusion he almost stopped giving Shizuo a blow job.

“Did you forget about me, Orihara-san?” Vee's voice reached his ears as he pulled down his pants. “I'm hurt. How could you forget about me after all those sessions you showed me?” he continued, referring to the countless times Izaya had retreated to this particular alley.

Vee grabbed Izaya's ass, causing another moan to escape the shorter male. He smiled as he kneaded the soft flesh. Vee almost wished that he was the one Orihara liked rather than his crappy excuse for a boyfriend. Despite his own fantasies, however, he wanted to help Orihara with his love troubles as much as possible. That still didn't stop him from taking this opportunity to fuck into the lovely ass he was holding.

Before he could even begin to do so, however, Izaya pulled off of Shizuo with a small 'pop' and hurriedly turned his head to glance at Vee.

“Lube,” he said.

“Huh?” Vee asked, trying to understand what Izaya was talking about.

“You have to use lube if you're going to shove that inside me,” Izaya said, digging his hand into his coat pocket. He retrieved a travel sized bottle of lube and showed it to Vee, who stared at him with a blank expression.

“Do I really have to show you?” Izaya questioned.

It was Shizuo's turn to look confused. “Why would you need to show him?” he asked. His hand was still lightly holding Izaya's hair.

“Because I was a vending machine until about half an hour ago,” Vee answered, looking at Shizuo.

And uncomfortable silence filled the air between them.

“What?” Shizuo blinked a few times and had to wonder if he was dreaming. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume so. He _was_ standing in front of his sworn enemy, who had been giving him a blow job, while a stranger was about to have sex with said sworn enemy in an alley. On the other hand, it wasn't that hard to believe with all the strange things that happened in Ikebukuro. This was just categorized with all the other strange happenings, right? “Forget I asked,” he decided, shaking his head.

“Good. A protozoan like you wouldn't be able to comprehend that situation anyway,” Izaya said as he shook the bottle of lube.

“What was that, flea?” Shizuo asked, tightening his grip on Izaya's hair.

Izaya gasped at the sudden pain but smiled, and replied, “I said your protozoan brain wouldn't be able to understand the situation.” he locked eyes with Shizuo, “Now, shut up and watch me, maybe you'll learn something.”

“Tch,” Shizuo released Izaya's hair and looked away.

Izaya poured some lube onto his hand and proceeded to rub at the opening of his anus. He pressed in one finger, then two. He spread his fingers and thrust them a few times. Small moans escaped him as he attempted to stretch himself as quickly as possible. Vee watched him in silence, taking in every detail from the moving fingers to the slight twitch of Izaya's cock between his legs.

Pulling out his fingers, Izaya handed the bottle to Vee. “Now you have to put more of it on your penis for extra lubrication.”

Vee popped the cap as he had seen Izaya do earlier and poured some into his hand. He lubricated his length, breathing out a sigh at the new sensation. He had seen Izaya stroke himself many times but he had no idea it felt this good. He stopped soon enough and lined his cock up with Izaya's hole.

“I can put it in now, right, Orihara-san?” he asked. He'd seen many people have sex in this back alley, but it was obvious that certain things were missing for him to know what proper sex was supposed to be.

“Hold on just a moment, Vee,” Izaya said. He looked up at Shizuo. “Shizu-chan, get on your knees for me.”

“What? Why?” he asked, annoyed that Izaya said it in such a demanding way as though he should obey without resistance.

“So I can reach your cock with my mouth in this position, idiot,” Izaya said.

“I'm not an idiot,” Shizuo muttered as he lowered himself. The ground was bumpy and hard, digging into his knees. He briefly wondered how Izaya's knees were fairing without pants.

“Now you can, Vee,” Izaya said in a sing-song voice before he took Shizuo's length into his mouth.

Izaya gasped around Shizuo's dick as Vee rammed into him fully. “Ah- haha, y-you're supposed to ease yourself in,” Izaya said, pulling off his treat for a moment to reprimand Vee.

“But I though Orihara-san wanted it rough,” Vee said with a smile as he thrust his hips again. “You did say you wanted Heiwajima-san to fuck you as hard as possible.”

Izaya's face turned red at the reminder of previous endeavors. Unable to think of a response, he went back to sucking the stiff, slightly swollen cock in front of him. He tried to focus on that rather than the small noises he made as Vee's dick rubbed against his walls.

“Oi,” Shizuo said, looking at Vee. “Switch places with me.”

Vee stopped and stared at him, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because as much as I want to see the flea's humiliated face, I want to be the one giving him pleasure,” he stated, “He doesn't belong to a stranger like you.”

Izaya looked at Shizuo and grinned, “Is Shizu-chan saying I belong to him now?”

“Shut it you louse,” he said, dodging the question.

Vee put a hand to his chest. “I'm hurt, Heiwajima-san. I'm no stranger. I've been watching Orihara-san for almost a year now since _you_ threw me back here.”

“Just move,” Shizuo said, getting up and walking behind Izaya, nudging Vee with a foot. “and you talk to much, shut up.”

“Alright, alright,” Vee conceded, putting his hands up. “If that's what Orihara-san wants, then I'm all for it.”

“Oh, but Shizu-chan likes to pretend to be in charge, so we should do what he says,” Izaya said, looking back at them with a smile and slightly narrowed eyes.

Vee obediently pulled out and moved to the front of Izaya, taking the same position Shizuo had earlier.

Shizuo got behind Izaya and pushed in all at once. He held Izaya's hips steady, setting a fast pace. This caused Izaya to moan and yelp, practically unable to give Vee a blow job. Shizuo was bigger and thrust harder than Vee had. Izaya felt Shizuo lean forward and bite his neck. As he sucked the spot he bit, Izaya realized what the blond was doing.

_Shizuo was marking him._

The thought had Izaya's heart racing just a little quicker. It sent his mind whirling with ideas.

He struggled but eventually got his mouth around Vee's dick. He only sucked it a few times before he stopped and breathlessly said, “Heh, Vee t-tastes much better than Shizu-chan.”

His plan worked as Shizuo gripped his hips harder and thrust with even more force. Izaya bent his head down, panting. Getting fucked by Shizuo was overwhelming but well worth it. Izaya felt someone lace a hand through his hair gently before they tightened it and lifted his head up.

Vee was looking down at him, “Aren't you forgetting something, Orihara-san?” he asked as he pulled Izaya's head forward, right in front of his cock.

Just as Izaya had the length in his mouth, Shizuo hit his sweet spot. Vee's hand kept Izaya on him as the raven jerked. Izaya moaned around his dick, sending a feeling through the male's body that he had never experienced. An even newer feeling blossomed in Vee's abdomen. His muscles tensed and his entire body felt elated. He was completely engulfed in euphoria and pleasure as some sort of substance shot from his dick into Izaya's mouth. Vee heard Izaya choke but didn't have the will to care at that moment. His hand loosened in Izaya's hair, letting the shorter male pull off him so he could spit the semi-liquid in his mouth onto the ground.

Leftover cum dribbled down Izaya's chin and Vee got the intense urge to lick it. So he did just that. He slowly leaned down, tilting Izaya's head up by his chin and dragged his tongue over the cum. It tasted bitter but had another taste that Vee decided he liked. He locked lips with Izaya, a careful kiss he felt he obligated to give after pulling Izaya's hair and forcing him onto his cock.

As Vee's tongue started exploring Izaya's mouth, Izaya felt physical pleasure escalate. Shizuo ramming his prostate mixed with Vee's gentle touches led him to orgasm. The cum squirted onto the ground below, forming a small puddle. Shivers wracked his body as Shizuo continued to thrust. A small trail of spit fell from his mouth. He let out high pitch moans, some of which were muffled by soft lips against his.

“Shizu-chaaan,” Izaya whined.

“Not done yet, flea,” Shizuo grunted above him, grasping his hips harder. Izaya was certain he would leave bruises.

Izaya clenched his hands, letting his head fall forward when Vee pulled away. His moans got louder as he was kept in oversensitive pleasure. It was a painful kind of pleasure ripping through him anew with every single thrust. Small tears started to form in the corners of his eyes that neither man above him could see because his face was practically on the ground.

Shizuo's movements became erratic. Hearing Izaya's noises brought him closer and closer to orgasm. He imagined what Izaya's face looked like at that moment: flushed red, humiliated, crying. Focusing on that combined with holding the trembling body below him sent him over the edge into that blissful state. He let out a small moan as he filled Izaya with his seed.

As he caught his breath, he leaned forward, right next to Izaya's ear.

“You're mine and no one else's, Izaya,” he whispered between breaths, “and I won't let you forget that.”

“Heh,” Izaya tried to push himself up slightly, turning his face toward Shizuo. “Does that mean Shizu-chan loves me?”

Shizuo pulled out of Izaya, letting semen spill onto the concrete and down Izaya's shaking legs. He nodded his head toward Vee. “So, what are we gonna do about him?” he asked, opting to completely ignore Izaya's question.

Vee had been watching the two in fascination the entire time. It was intriguing to him how Izaya seemed to be in pain yet still enjoyed the scenario. He thought Shizuo was slightly mean, but he understood why he was so possessive. Had Vee been in the same situation, he doubted he would be much better.

“Shizu-chan is so cruel, saying he doesn't love me-,” Izaya started.

“I never said that,” Shizuo interjected, voice full of irritation.

“-but I'll forgive him this once,” Izaya finished as though he hadn't been interrupted. “Hm, I suppose we could give him to Shinra; he'd have fun dissecting him.” He glanced at the somewhat innocent Vee in front of him as he spoke.

“D-dissected?” Vee laughed nervously, “Isn't that something lovers do? Why would I do that with this Shinra person?”

While Shizuo stared at Vee in disbelief, Izaya couldn't contain ringing laughter.

“You've had some pretty messed up people come back here, haven't you?” Shizuo asked.

“Dissection is cutting a deceased body apart to examine it,” Izaya explained, still giggling.

“I- oh,” Vee paused. “Wait, are you guys planning on murdering me?” he took a few steps back. Vee had seen his fair share of murders and they didn't look fun. People tended to not move after they had a knife stabbed into them and he had no clue if he was the same.

Izaya got up and brushed himself off, pretending his legs didn't feel like jello. Slipping his pants back on, he replied, “Of course not, but we need to do _something_ with you. Maybe Shinra would be able to help us with this.”

Shizuo followed suit in making himself decent. Vee mimicked him, zipping up his own pants.

“Come to think of it,” Shizuo said, “How long are you even going to be like that?”

Vee shrugged, “I don't know. I was a vending machine one minute and then I was standing in front of Orihara-san with a human body. I have no clue when I'll change back or if I even will.”

Izaya dusted himself off. “Well, it's not really my problem,” he said, “but I'll take time out of my busy schedule to help you, Vee. I'll bring you to Shinra's and we can figure it out from there.”

Izaya grabbed Vee's hand and started walking out of the alley. “Well, we'll be going now. Bye, Shizu-chan.”

“I'm going with you two,” Shizuo stated, following Izaya and Vee.

“Aw, is Shizu-chan afraid I'll cheat on him with Vee-chan?” Izaya asked.

“Yes,” Shizuo said flatly, “and don't call him 'Vee-chan'.”

“Shizu-chan's jealous of Vee-chan,” Izaya said, smirking.

“Shut up, you louse,” Shizuo said, not bothering to think of a better comeback.

Vee followed the two, mostly comprehending their conversation. He smiled, content but disappointed in knowing that Izaya would probably never be his. However, he wouldn't give up on the small light of hope flickering inside, telling him that he might be able to be with Izaya if it included Shizuo. Who knew, really? Maybe he would grow to like this shitty boyfriend of Izaya's and perhaps they could have a three-way relationship.

Those worked sometimes, right?

 

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend dared me to write a Shizuo/Izaya/Vending Machine fanfic after hearing about one by Rukazaya that I read because of curiosity. Then I swore on the river styx I would write a serious, cracky fanfic involving Shizuo, Izaya, and a vending machine. This was the outcome of that dare and boy am I happy she dared me to do this.  
> I had a lot of fun writing this! It took me awhile(I started it in July) but I'm pleased with how it turned out. I was up 'till 3 am finishing it. I didn't realize this would be 3000 words. I also didn't realize Vee would end up having an actual personality with feelings. Wow, would he count as a fan character? Haha! What a bizarre little world we live in, right?  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it~!


End file.
